Well, up... ish. I'm working on it, dammit! Index: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Syd Lexia on Crystalis It is the 20th anniversary of End DAY, so let's speak about Crystalis. This text is still below building.

Christmas at Kris Lexias: Beauty and the Beast Style Kris Lexia opinions Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas WARNING: This article accommodates prolonged dialogue about large organs.

Random Musings: The Legend of Zelda Syd pontificates on the primary Legend of Zelda recreation, about nothing in particular. In loving memory of Raymond Scott Bishop, 1993-2014.

Ten Years: A Retrospective In honor of the location's tenth anniversary, here is a 50,000 word retrospective. That, or it is a Kris Lexia article about Neopets toys from McDonalds.

Kris Lexia's Snackoween Spooktacular And now for something utterly totally different, here's Syd's sister consuming Halloween-themed foods. Also featured inside: ghosts. (Probably not.)

Syd Lexia on Abadox Abadox is the story of a design crew's bizarre eye fetish. This isn't a joke. Also featured inside: ghosts.

Pong: Violent, Sexist, and Vile Sexism in video games is kind of the new-button situation. We should combat it. One problem: how do you struggle a video recreation tradition that's nearly as old as video video games themselves?

Bart's Nightmare: A Review By Valdronius Bart's Nightmare is, if nothing else, a moderately fairly recreation. To seek out out whether it is nothing else, strive reading this assessment by Valdronius.

Nine Simple Truths That Mega Man Proved Wrong There are things you already know that are not as known as you understand them to be. Mega Man's adventures on the NES will educate you this. Question Everything.

Super Mario CCD: Legend Of The Seven Deadly Sins According to the Catholic Church, there are Seven Deadly Sins that one can commit. Super Mario, usually cited as a paragon of advantage, is responsible of all of them.

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NES Launch '85: A Have a look at The first Games For The Nintendo Entertainment System The Nintendo Entertainment System just turned 25 years old. In celebration of this super anniversary, this is a glance back on the system's launch games.

DuckTales Is Impossible And Reality As We all know It is An enormous Fucking Lie You probably remember Capcom's DuckTales game for the NES as being actually fun and fairly easy. Well, it wasn't. It was unattainable. Also: actuality is a lie.

Syd Lexia vs. The Addams Family Cereal This article is dedicated to the dearly departed Raul Julia, who played Gomez in the only two Addams Family motion pictures that matter. Hopefully I'll be seeing him soon.

Syd Lexia vs. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal Jesus Christ. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal. Seriously? I actually do not want to eat this.

Syd Lexia vs. Slimer And The actual Ghostbusters Cereal When I'm eating expired cereal, in your neighborhood... who ya gonna name? THE PARAMEDICS!

Syd Lexia vs. Bill & Ted's Excellent Cereal Hey, I wager you won't dare me to eat some cereal from 1990. Go ahead, dare me. Come on! Whatever, I'm gonna do it anyway.

10 Things On The NES That I actually Didn't Have to See Because Ryan's bare ass was one bare dude ass too many. WARNING: May include cat anus.

The 100 Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever You've waited patiently for the following epic list from SydLexia.com. Finally, here it is. The a hundred Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever!!!

His Name Is Rob Paulsen. Your favorite cartoon characters can not converse for themselves. They are voiced by real folks with actual names. The man who voiced Yakko Warner has a name. His title is Robert Paulsen.

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Emily! Three years, child! Your mother and father said we might by no means make it, but we did it! WE FUCKING DID IT! Just kidding. That is Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 7.

Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 6 Just as Are You Afraid of the Dark? returned after a hiatus in 1999, Lessons Learned has returned after a hiatus in 2009. Get ready for the learniest classes you'll ever be taught. Also INSIDE: Elisha Cuthbert eating a sandwich.

Metroid: A Blind Run By Valdronius Up till not too long ago, Valdronius had by no means played the original Metroid. We are able to either kill him, or examine his blind run of the sport. I like Valdronius, so why don't we no less than give the non-homicide choice a chance?

Syd Lexia on All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros. For his a centesimal article, Syd reviews a rare Mario title that was designed as a promotional merchandise for a Japanese radio program. On this game, Mario rescues All Night Nippon DJs from King Koopa, with just a little help from his trusty Star of David. No, seriously.

A Salute To PrintMaster Plus 2.Zero Back in the nice previous days, print shop applications were innovative technology. Nowadays, you have to be borderline retarded to purchase one. This article is about the good outdated days.

Come To The Dark Side, Now we have Cookies. On this exercise, I eat a box of Star Wars Cookies from 1983 and see what happens. Three years later, I die of cancer. Scientists attribute my dying to "being a complete fucking idiot".

Contra: The Man's Guide To Fucking Like A Porn Star What higher option to observe Valdronius than with an article evaluating Contra to sexual intercourse? This analogy shouldn't be at all obtuse. This is the best thing I've ever written.

Impossible Mission: The Story Of A Research Paper In accordance with Valdronius, taking part in the basic Commodore 64 recreation Impossible Mission is rather a lot like writing a analysis paper. Personally, I believe him. Test it out.

Who Watches The Watchmen? This is either a assessment of the best graphic novel ever written, or a overview of some Game & Watch video games. Either method, some of you will be disenchanted.

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